From Faith to Nevah - College Stories

When I first began my writing journey, many many years ago... I decided I was going to write under a pen name... probably, maybe... possibly. The first name I used as a pen name was Scarlet Faith. This was because I wanted my hair to be scarlet in color. (Well, more so I wanted it to be black with long scarlet bangs). The name Faith came because Faith was my favorite character on my favorite TV show, Buffy the vampire slayer. So for the longest time that is where my name came from.

Then, once I moved away from home and began working I met a little girl named Nevah. She was the sweetest little four-year-old. She had a brother a year younger. They were foster children living with a man and a woman who had Nevah since she was a little over six months and the brother since birth. All these two children knew were these people as mom and dad. I learned that they were in the process of making it official and adopting them. I was thrilled to hear it. They were such sweet kids and the man and woman seemed like amazing people.

It has always been my goal in life to have two children of my own and then when I was in a place to do so, to foster children who needed homes. So, at the time, being just near the end of my associates degree and being pregnant, I was thrilled to see others fostering when I was yet in a place to do so.

One day the woman dropped off the children without even a good-bye which was unusual to me. Typically drop off was kisses and hugs and love yous. This felt... cold. The children were off as well, both quiet and just wanting to be held. I was on my break when the daycare owner pulled me into the room to inform me that the man had gotten a job in another state. After speaking with the agency about the children's adoption, they were told they couldn't take the children out of state until everything was finalized, but if the woman was willing to stay a month (tops) in state they could speed up the process as best as they could and get it done. (They were fairly close to it being done as it was). It seems though, that the woman informed the agency she wasn't going to stay in state without her husband and thus they were not continuing with the adoption and they were leaving at the end of the week, without the children.

I was furious to say the least. How can you raise two children, practically from birth, tell them they are going to be a family, they are mom and dad and they will be there forever and everything is great... to saying, 'Maw, I can't stay without my husband. Bye" and abandoning those children? I went home that day telling my husband we were taking in two children damn it. (We of course could not... we lived in a two bedroom apartment with a new baby on the way).

That week with those kids was the hardest week of my life. To see the man and woman get colder and colder to those children and those children get further and further withdrawn... On Friday they were dropped off by the man and woman with a suitcase and picked up later that day by their caseworker. I never saw them again and it killed me.

I adopted the name Nevah to remember those children and the hardship that comes with being a child. To remember that no matter how stable you believe your life is... it can come crashing down any moment. A lot of my stories have themes like that. I could not control what happened to those children and I hope they found a family together that loved them more than that man and woman did. I can control what happens to my characters and though they have bad things happen to them, there is always something for them to hold onto, something to anchor them to the light that is there at the end. The light I hope everyone finds and the happiness that light brings.

The name Ann comes from my little sister. Her middle name is Ann. I practically raised my baby sister as my mother was in college and working two jobs at the time and my older brothers were in school and also working themselves. When I turned 18 I left home and sadly left her behind. She was upset with me over it as we were super close. It also cut some of that relationship that I had with her. To this day, our relationship is not what it was, but it has been building back a little at a time.

So that's it. That is how I went from Scarlet Faith to Nevah Ann. Do you have a pen name? Where did yours come from? Is there a name you'd use if you ever decided you needed a pen name? What would it be? Let me know in the comments below.

And come back next week for our next blog - Welcome to the college years! We are getting closer to present day. :)